Disappointment / Hurt


          As men we always want to take the high road or the road that makes us feel better. Is that really the road we are taking? When situation arise, and that situation takes us by surprise, we are quick to respond or act, this includes the saved as well as the unsaved, because we as men must give an answer. Disappointment / hurt triggers something inside us that we cannot control. The real problem is pride. We (you and I) put on this front that we are so strong, and situations do not affect us, but our reactions condemn us. The Bible says, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly”; Proverb 14. A truly saved man is a man that allow the words of the Bible to become a part of him and settle in his heart as he walks in those words daily.

Being brought up in the south through the good and bad of man, we live the life of our family. I am not saying it is a bad thing, but some things are or was not taught inside the home. My biggest obstacle in life was that I was not taught how to be a father, husband, or to love. I was taught how to provide and survive, which are great values, but it does not equate to love. I was taught how to be a father by my father, but he was not taught fatherhood, because his father lacked the knowledge as well. God said, “He would be my Father” and removed the hate and replaced it with love, caring, and peace. He showed me how to be a husband, a father to my children, and showed me love is not gifts or privileges, but honesty, values, and peace. Every true relationship starts with God (LOVE). People say they do not believe in God, so do they believe in love. You cannot have one without the other. Show me a loving devil and I will show you a destructive relationship. God removed I (me) out of my relationship. We as humans have so many selfish ways that we (I) do things based on the benefit of ourselves. The next time you are asked to do something or want to go somewhere, listen to yourself and count how many times you put I in your conversation; I want this, I want that, I will show, and the list goes on. Where is the relationship, where is the love?  Love requires compromise, equality, and understanding, things I did not truly know, because I was blinded by my own self-interest. I was raised with good values, but I believed as most men think, we are the ultimate species and God put us here to be in charge. Sorry fellows we are sadly mistaken. KJV Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”.  Let’s look at “and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”.  If your desire or love for something is so great, do we not make it our ruler or God. The woman’s love for the man is so strong that she bows to his every need or want. This is not a command by God putting man in charge of the woman, but a curse making her love for man her bondage.

In a Godly relationship we are all equal, we just have different roles. Where you are weak your partner is the strength, and where your partner is weak you are the strength. Inside the equality is Love (God).  God completes the relationship. God, man and woman working together to complete the marriage. I am not saying every day is trouble free, but hate cannot stand where Love (God) dwells.

Many marriage counselors try to tell you how to fix a marriage, do they really know what you are thinking at every moment, so you do not get into an argument or disagreement. If I am upset when I get from work on Tuesday afternoon and do not want to be bothered, does the counselor know I am upset and do not want to be bothered or do my wife know I do not want to be bothered. I had counseling on Monday and my counselor did not know the job was going to take me over the edge on Tuesday afternoon. The Monday counseling does not equate to a happy ending on Tuesday afternoon. God knows I am upset and my situation has put me in a mood of anger, so He limits the thing my wife says that will cause controversy inside of my household. He shows her how or what to say to keep peace and let those words dwell inside of me to remove the anger and keep the peace. The reason I know is because, my Father (God) guided my steps and showed me how to love my wife, how to love my children, and bring peace into my household when the world was destroying itself around us. I say this to say that I was not a perfect man, none of us are, but Love (God) changes things. To have peace inside of all this destruction man is creating, keeps me Loving my true Father daily. Have a blessed day.